Trust your own style!!!

It's been awhile, and I've missed writing.  An over eventful couple of weeks kept my head spinning out of control.  At least there were a few "fun" events thrown in. 

One of the questions that has been reeling around in my head over these past months, years is who am I now and who will I be when I'm "fixed"???

Last week I was fortunate enough to have been invited to the 1st Communion of a dear friend of mine's daughter and the gathering of friends afterwards.  Of course the subject of Caroline and her adventures always comes up, but a new friend, who also has a severely handicapped friend, turned to me and said, "what one thing would you advise people about their lives".  Meaning, since my current life bears no resemblance to the former, how do I cope and how do you impart to people the necessity of enjoying life.  I was speechless, and for anyone who knows me, that is a rare thing indeed.  To date, I still have no answers and that is how I replied.  There is no way to prepare yourself for this much destruction.  Am back receiving regular sanity sessions with my wonderful therapist and last week I asked and he answered that he has never seen this many things go wrong in a Workers Comp case.  So there you have it. 

What I am learning is to live in the moment.  It's such an unsettling space for me to be in, that I can't control a darn thing in my life.  On the flip side, as I practice living in the moment, there are the unexpected surprises of people's kindness, or smelling my jasmine as I open my door.  These are the "new style" of Caroline that is emerging.  Life is at a gentle pace for me, so the new style is quieter, more reflective, and appreciative of small mercies.  Who knows if the kick butt Caroline will return?  For now.........I still love pink, my dogs, flowers, and the fact that as I need things they manifest.  Trust, I'm learning to trust.