Me, Myself and I

Why is it so easy, especially for women, to feel like we never quite measure up?  I work at this every day and have made progress but still there are lots of times that I find myself feeling inadequate because I feel less than someone else, or myself?

Perhaps this is one of the keys to my healing?  I keep comparing where I am today with what my life looked like three years ago.  It was pretty good back then, had a job I loved and believed in, a great circle of people that I met with regularly, danced to great music every weekend, enjoyed the myriad of scenic walking trails available to me on the coast, spent lots of time at the beach playing with my pups and also enjoyed an active dating life.

There is no way I could have foreseen what lay ahead.

Does a good portion of my depression stem from the fact that life right now bears no resemblance to what it once was, nor will it ever again.  There are many days when I state, "I have no life".  The truth is I wake up every day, isn't that is the definition of "life"?  So truth be told, I do have a life, just not the one I want!!!  I seem to be stuck in comparing what I have to what I  had or think I should have.  Not a reality and no one ever said there were guaranties in life.  A great lesson in enjoying "the present".  Not the past and not the future.......that's why it's called the present - my present!!!

Guess my aha moment today is that I need to stop comparing myself to myself.  Somehow I must let go of and stop grieving the past; embrace and enjoy the present and start looking toward the future, whatever it may be.